


And yet... Here you are

by MacKyleMore



Category: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: (proceeds to open up my tag titled:), M/M, Modern Setting, Oneshot collection, That's when I'm like sure okay:, When people say stuff like 'Go to your happy place'?, cw: May Contain Heavily Implied Route of The Problem FordeKyle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28689318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacKyleMore/pseuds/MacKyleMore
Summary: Me feeding myself by hand more Route of The Problem FordeKyle:  you are safe now my sweet child.Me eating the Route of The Problem FordeKyle from my very own hand: I owe you my life.Here's that other half of oneshot collections I promised  for myself: Exclusively Irritating and Self-Obsessed Portion.
Relationships: Forde/Kyle (Fire Emblem)





	1. Could Be Worse

**Author's Note:**

> writing has become really extra difficult again for me, normal "my upper body is always a landmine" pain aside, the increase in cool weather makes my body even more immobile and harder for me to type as my circulation worsens even more and i can barely move my fingers. 
> 
> also im shrouded in so much brain fog surrounding my stupid pain, like i cant even focus. yeah maybe a year ago i was still feeling it, but a year ago i also did not understand what it was. but now i feel it AND understand it. therefore, a year ago i did not know just how potentially dangerous it was. 
> 
> so like, until im finally treated properly, damn right when i have enough of that already rare physical strength AT THE SAME TIME as the mental focus to function: i'm only gonna write what i want. i have surpassed the need to pretend like i dont live for woute of the pwobwem fowdekywe. because i ABSOLUTELY live for woute of the pwobwem fowdekywe.

* * *

Something wakes Forde up in the middle of the night.

Usually: _This doesn't happen_. Usually, Forde absolutely sleeps from dusk to dawn (If not _longer_ than that.) with no interruptions.

Yet from here, as his dulled senses regain from having previously been asleep; Forde can make out the partially-skewed blur of red LED on a digital clock across the room.

**_3:23 am_ **

Forde vacantly glares at the glowing set of numbers.

...

Forde slowly blinks.

...

_**3:24 am** _

...

_Why am I awake so early?_ Forde considers, as he restlessly makes a move to roll over.

But, ... _he **can't**_ **.** He realizes once he tries. Because as it turns out: Kyle is positively, completely _crushing_ Forde with every possible bit of his weight. From behind, Kyle is a barricade allowing no mobility out of Forde what-so- _ever_.

Forde softly starts groaning under his breath; Too tired to use his voice _._ The part of his brain that connects his ability to vocalize his thoughts into words has not yet risen.

Held tightly beneath Kyle's hold and stuck under an avalanche of heaviness; Now it _makes sense_ as to why Forde is up so early. Because as his awareness steadily becomes more and more _aware:_ Forde realizes the circulation in his arm is being cut off and that it is tingly and numb; As long as Kyle is applying as much pressure onto it as he is.

And it's kind of miserably _hot_ like this; As a slick sweat accumulates in between the warm contact of skin they share: The flesh on Forde's own back is repulsively glued to Kyle's chest.

And in Forde's ear resounds an almost _purring_ sort of noise. It would be _cute,_ even; Almost reminscent of a napping kitten...

_If it were only soft and rythmical_. But Kyle is instead snoring so borderline _loudly_ that it can only be referred to as aggravatingly repetitive and _obnoxious._

Forde frowns. _There's no way he'll be able to get back to sleep like **this.**_ And with still so many beneficial and useful hours left until daylight: Letting them go to waste would just be _sad..._

So, Forde decides to try and wake Kyle up in order to tell him to scoot back _juuust_ _a_ **_little._**

"...Kyle?" Comes a barely audible grumble in the dark of _much-too-early_ morning. "...Kyyyle...?"

_"...Mmmh..."_ Kyle flinches in his slumber; At this, the arm of Kyle's that acts in restricting Forde's shoulder merely _hugs Forde **tigher.**_

...Oh, dear. That's not backing **off:** _That's **inching in closer.**_ That's going to be even _more_ dead-arm _discomfort_ and even _more_ grossly humid _sweat._

Forde sighs, losing his will to try and be peaceful and subtle in telling Kyle to move away. _"Kyle?"_ Forde raises his voice.

Kyle stirs; Eventually he staggers, as he jolts enough _awake_ at the recurrence of Forde repeating his name.

"...Hmmm...?" Kyle's eyelashes flutter against Forde's hair, as he somehow manages to nudge his face in even _closer._ "What is it, sweetheart?" Kyle asks as he mumbles, _groggy_ and in a daze.

_...Oh no._

That was so...

_**Tender and loving**._

Forde squeezes his eyes shut tight, whining from within the depths of his throat. Fazed and _beginning to regret what he was thinking to ask out of Kyle;_ Forde tries to keep the blissful grin that Kyle having just _done_ that caused _firm off of his face._

Now, Kyle is only managing to squash Forde's arm even _harder._ Now, the much too clammy skin-to-skin contact they share is even _more_ closely condensed _. Now,_ Kyle's muggy and irregular breath on Forde's neck is even _more_ obtrusive; And now it's _spreading itself out **all across** the surface area of Forde's face--_

In waking Kyle up, Forde has only indirectly _**urged** Kyle to move in closer and squeeze him tighter._

And _wow_ is it uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable before; Since it was enough to interrupt Forde's sleep. But now it's even _worse._

...But Kyle making that little drowsy, _sweet_ motion of his to nuzzle his face in closer, and kindly ask Forde _'What's_ _wrong'_ was simply all too... **_endearing._**

...This sure still is uncomfortable.

_But now Forde feels **bad.**_

_"Nevermind..."_ Forde mutters. "I just wanted say I love you. _Sorry for waking you up."_

"Aaahhh...." Kyle exhales in his _more than_ just _half_ -asleep state; As he haphazardly nestles in to sleepily kiss Forde on his cheek. "You, too..." Kyle hums before falling back into another complete and deep rest.

And _honestly_ is this an unpleasant position. It really _is_ worse than _before_ Forde had woken Kyle up. Maybe it's hard to even _breathe,_ with how Kyle is huddling behind him; The dead-weight of Kyle's arm and the tangled stress of Kyle's legs tying Forde into a practical _lock._

But... _Whatever._ Forde can withstand a few more hours of a numb arm and sweltering heat. He decides... _There are **much** worse things out there that he could have to tolerate._


	2. In All Seriousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fact that this doesnt make sense is the intention bc its not supposed to make sense bc nothings ever made sense Okay
> 
> Words and paragraphs and sentences and chracters and punctuation and more paragraphs and long incomprehensivle paragraphs and dialouges and connections and madness and insanity and dying off. and i dont remember the last time i used my brain

* * *

"You know..." Forde starts at nothing more than a low mumble. "I hate the use of the term _'serious relationship.'_ Like, remember when we went out to eat last week? And that one girl tried to help her friend hit on you...?"

_Serious relationship..._ Kyle thinks. Why would that term bother Forde?

Is he _jealous?_ Is Forde disregarding Kyle's trust? Does Forde have an issue in remembering _Kyle is serious_ about the two of them?

Kyle smirks... Ready to sound almost full of himself in his tone. "Are you jealous when other people find interest in me? _Wooow..._ That kind of jealousy is not at all like you, Forde. That's much more of a _'me'_ thing..." Next, Kyle pretend-jabs Forde in the ribs to tease him about this.

"Ah... W-What!?" Forde squeals in discomfort at Kyle's sudden ambush. But he smiles and nervously laughs as he's _backing away;_ In order to defend himself from any more future potential _**Kyle Poking Attacks.**_

"I-I-- _I was just thinking about it!_ " Forde explains. "Thinking about how whenever we go out, and if you are to sometimes get _hit_ on? You immediately get all _blush_ -y and _stutter_ -y... _You never speak up for yourself._ **I** have to be the one to step in and say _'He's flattered._ Understandably: _You find him cute_. So do I. But unfortunately for you; My darling _boyfriend_ here is in a ' _serious relationship'."_

"..."

Oh. Forde's, _not,_ jealous. Forde's not jealous in thinking Kyle could ever consider leaving him...

Forde's not even jealous over the fact that usually-- _If and when it happens_ \-- Women seem to ignore Forde and instead they _only hit on Kyle_.

Even though that is illogical: Because Forde is definitely more _hit-on_ material, In Kyle's honest opinion. Forde's open and practically _radiates_ a good energy. So it makes Kyle almost mad that no one seems to ever hit on Forde. Maybe it's because Forde is more intimidating? ...If that's the case; Kyle can understand. Very few can be worthy enough to stand in Forde's individual type of presence...

But... Forde's not jealous in the slightest. 

_(Thankfully._ Kyle doesn't _like_ it when people hit on him; So Forde has no reason to be jealous over it. Kyle can only think of _one single time_ someone's ever hit on him and he's _liked_ it... But that's irrelevant.)

"But that's the thing..." Forde continues after hearing Kyle's silence. "I always gotta be the one to say it. And I get why it makes you uncomfortable; Because it makes _me_ uncomfortable, too. I always gotta go ' _He's in a **'serious relationship**_ **.'** And I _HATE_ that part! It's the only thing I really _can_ say... Because simply saying _'serious relationship'_ is almost the golden standard."

"...What's wrong with saying that specifically? I mean, as long as you _personally_ don't mind... _you know..._ explaining... **_us?"_** Kyle asks, but not too confidently.

Because in Kyle's case... It's _sooo_ embarrassing. It feels almost like a _narcissistic_ type of thing to have to say. And it's hard to turn people down when you have to try and un-emotionally tell them ' _I have a boyfriend.'_ Bonus points if it's in the chance that Kyle and Forde are out _in the middle of a **date**_ **,** and openly already _flirting_ with one another.

Even if it _is_ their _own_ fault for looking at Kyle _(Again:_ **On a date with his boyfriend** , _mind you.)_ and not only assuming he's straight... But also assuming he could _ever_ be interested in _anyone else_ except **_Forde._**

Because as far as Kyle sees Forde's brain working; _Forde_ on the other hand has no trouble in projecting to random people out in public about _how he has a boyfriend._

...Even if the situation absolutely _does not_ call for it. 

Forde even does it... **_especially_** when it's not appropriate.

And in those times, All Kyle can do is hide his face and fake-cough, as he nudges Forde with his elbow. Or discreetly knee Forde in his leg. Or subtly kick Forde's ankles as Kyle silently **_begs_** Forde to stop _because it's all too **embarrassing.**_

And then Forde usually only laughs _harder_ at Kyle trying to do this; And continues on in informing the rest of the public how _happy-in-a-relationship_ he is. _Almost_ like he's telling them on purpose; So that it makes Kyle even _more_ frustrated.

But Forde wouldn't be doing that _intentionally_ in order to just _tease_ Kyle, right? _**No way.**_ The _only reason_ Forde's so prideful about it is because he's already _stupid-happy_ in _**love**_ with Kyle and likes to let everyone else know.

...

_...Probably._

...

Kyle realizes he's blushing right now just thinking about it.

Forde-- Still keeping his distance as he hugs his arms all around his chest in order to save his sensitive skin-- Raises his eyebrows as he's trying to force a smile into a frown.

"That's not it!" Forde states. "You're not _getting_ it. What bothers me isn't the situational awkwardness, _No._ What bothers me is that sole _t_ _erm._ That commonplace term of _'serious relationship'._ You know why it bothers me, Kyle? Well..." 

As Forde pauses to consider his explanation and wording, he eventually drops the defensive level he had his arms held at.

"...Because it makes it sound like it's _just_ **any** _'relationship.'_ Not something _deep_ or _meaningful._ It makes it sound like there's no _real_ connection that had to be worked for. Saying ' _I'm in a serious relationship._ ' feels like-- At least to me-- Feels like it's not acknowledging the actual effort put into said _'serious relationship.'_ It- It... It almost sounds like there's another person anyone would be able to suddenly just... _**date.**_ Like, all-too-easily _replacing._ Like, if you instead weren't in that relationship _already--"_

Forde sounds like he's struggling here... Like this is something he can't express.

And it's a heavy thing to consider, one Kyle often forgets Forde could even _have_ an opinion on.

But... Kyle thinks he's familiar with what it at least _sounds_ like Forde is trying to say.

As it goes, Kyle thinks it's the same as how Kyle feels himself. Forde just reached the conclusion in a different way.

"Wait, wait, _wait--."_ So Kyle cuts him off. May as well save Forde the unnecessary difficulty. "You mean, like, the term _'serious relationship'_ can't ever **_begin_** to describe the real extent of a couple's experiences? As if, had someone _not_ been in a relationship, maybe then they'd _just go out_ with whoever would be hitting on them no matter what?"

_"...Yeah...?"_ Forde sounds confused even though this was a train of thought he started. "It's hard to... _put into words._ But, I guess... What I'm _trying_ to say is... Even if we never started dating? Hell, even if we never _met?_ And let's pretend any given stranger could ask me out. In this exact modern period in my life; Except _here_ it is instead a hypothetical scenerio in which **' _I never meet Kyle_ '**? I... I just... _I know it wouldn't work_. I don't think I would have the capacity to want to put forth the romantic-work into anyone who's not _you._ Like, I know that's hard to put into _perspective_ because _if I never met you_ then how would I **_know_** I want _**you**_ but--"

Forde stammers endlessly. Blush shading its way onto Forde's face now, in its own right.

**_"Forde."_** Kyle interrupts him again. This time, _loudly._ Trying to save Forde from his own little feeble embarrassment.

...It's cute, _Yes._ But because of the fact that it is an emotion and feeling being discussed that Kyle himself knows all too well; _Kyle needs to let Forde know he feels the same way._

"I know. _I know exactly what you mean_. You are only just one person. But as that so happens? You are simultaneously the _only_ one person I _ever_ could excitedly decide ' _I **need** to make us work_,' because _damn_ do I love you. And I not only will _try_ to make it work: I can _continue_ to make it work, always..."

As Kyle talks, he realizes this is something that's not all that hard to express. And it's not all that surprising to hear Forde has similar thoughts about this topic...

"Because I always know ' _Forde thinks that way about us, too'."_ Continues Kyle. "And I think what you meant is turning someone down with the sentence ' _I'm in a serious relationship_ ' sounds an awful lot like: ' _If only I weren't **already** in this serious relationship, **Well then maybe I'd give you a chance.**_ **'** But, no. Because a ' _chance'_ typically won't work. Because most chances can't just _turn_ into something. It needs to be what you ongoingly _strive_ for. With someone who you willingly learn to accept; And, Also, You need to be able to more-closely accept yourself along- _side_ that person... Because a relationship is not a _one-sided_ thing."

Forde stands, _silent,_ taking in all of what Kyle just said. At the beginning of this conversation: It was merely what appeared to be light-hearted foolishness... But this truthfully became kind of _emotion-_ heavy _._

"Well..." Forde finally starts with a near-and-dear whisper. "You really just... _Summed it all up_ , pretty much..."

"...I did..." Kyle feels almost relieved. None of this information is news for him. But to be able to vocalize it, and have Forde confirm it as they intimately share the moment? Well... _that feels pretty good_. 

"You're the only person I'll ever want to work towards, Forde." Kyle restates. Agreeing with Forde's earlier mostly-failed attempt to say it himself. "You're the only person that's right for me to _want_ to put my trust into."

"...Yeah." Slowly, Forde's whisper finally _fades._ "But another thing about saying _'serious relationship'_ is that it's a _really dumb_ set of words. Because the more serious and in love and _comfortable_ you are around another person? The more openly _ridiculous_ you can be in front of them; The more you're not _afraid_ to do something stupid as all _fuck_ with them! And the more _'romantically **serious'**_ you are, the more it becomes anything _**but**_ serious."

Now: Forde starts sporting a goofy grin. Unexpectedly, Forde soon commences laughing quietly beneath his look of self-satisfaction; Softly enough that Kyle can hardly hear it.

...Kind of unfortunate. _Kyle happens to love that laugh_. If Forde needs to laugh, he should do it loudly and without shame.

Just like how Forde likes to over- _expressively_ inform strangers that he's got a boyfriend.

Kyle tries his part in trying to force a smile into a frown. He doesn't think he's succeeding, however. As he gets closer to Forde's now once-more exposed and unprotected torso; Kyle makes a move to sharply jab a couple fingers into Forde's abdomen, _just once more._ But as even just a _teasing_ -threat, it doesn't last; Because ultimately, Kyle ends up instead wrapping his arms tightly under Forde's shoulders.

"Ahh-- _Kyle!"_ Forde's beginning to start verbally sounding his snickering now, in between Kyle trying to evoke more tickling out of his side, and in between Kyle hugging Forde without warning. "Heh- _Heeey_! What are you all of a sudden _doinggg!?"_

**"You must be _preeetty serious_ about me**." Kyle loses the drive to try and force it down, as he now smiles widely; The side of his face affectionately presses into the side of Forde's. "Because good _God_ are you anything _but_ serious. You are full blown _**chaotic."**_

Forde's still laughing... _What a wonderful laugh it is_ , as he laughs so hard he's trembling underneath Kyle's embrace; Laughing so breathlessly to where he can hardly speak.

"I-I-- _I know!_ That's what I meant! I am _so_ fine with being stupid in front of you, because I'm comfortable enough **_to_** be." Forde says with an airy smile that can be heard through his words. "Because I _know_ I can be that way; Because I know I _seriously trust you;_ I love you enough to be able to act as _no one other than **myself."**_

"...You don't need to tell me twice." Kyle sighs happily.

Forde clearly _is_ serious about Kyle. Serious enough that he can take what was a serious conversation, and swap it into a fit of nonesense and _still_ have it surface such intense admiration out of Kyle.

Forde's foolishness around Kyle may even be so constant that it's blown out of _proportion,_ at times.

Yet, Kyle can't even take a look over himself in any sort of defense. _Because Kyle's the same._ Looking back at the past, and then the present? Looking at _now?_

_Damn_ if Kyle hasn't had what was _at once_ a sad attempt at a _'serious lifestyle'_ utterly _stripped_ away. Damn if Kyle _now_ isn't afraid from time to time, to act pretty _**fucking stupid;**_ As long as when he does it, Kyle's around someone who makes him _feel happy enough_ to **want** to act that way.

Just like Forde's: These non-' _serious_ ' actions out of Kyle incidentally _themselves_ occur _**so very often;**_ So they are sure to undoubtedly bear the truth in that Kyle, too, is _immensely_ serious about Forde.

...Even if in his own head, Kyle's _always_ known how serious he feels about wanting to be with Forde for the rest of their lives.

But even still, it's seriously nice to mutually shine some light onto it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyle gushing alone thinking about Forde: Woah Forde is so amazing. I'm so in awe at all he does. He's such a wonderful person. I love him so much he makes me full of elation. I can't figure out how the most fantastic person alive can hold even a shred of respect for me, Who cannot live up to even a fraction of anything Forde does. And yet Forde still loves and respects me back... Aah... I love him so much...
> 
> Unbeknownst to Kyle, Forde in a room over: Fuckin'-A I just spilled 44 ounces of Baja Blast on my circuit board and now it's shot. I'm gonna have to post-pone the date I originally had planned to finish and send this digital piece to my client.
> 
> Respectively, Forde thinking about Kyle: I don't think I as a person am deserving of the praise Kyle seems to put me in the light of. My life feels like a tightrope walk of getting-by, and everyday I worry something could abruptly go wrong and I could lose all I know and have. But somehow, Kyle finds a great deal of impressiveness in this in itself. I personally don't understand. But even so, I'm so happy he's proud of me. Even though it's KYLE that is constantly proving himself and making the conscious step to show his caring, smart, and amazing mindset.
> 
> Kyle in the other room: Is today Monday or Thursday...? *Checks calendar* Oh Fuck it's SATURDAY? I missed my dentist appointment I had yesterday Oh Damn it Shit and Fuck.


	3. A Bit of Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt already the fic i post intoxicated and slightly drunk u just have a crush on me.
> 
> not my fault the only time i can type without it putting me thru agony is Drinky

* * *

Securing the knot on the tie beneath his collar; Forde pats his pockets to ensure he has all of his important belongings before heading out the door.

Portfolio equipped inside his usual messenger bag; Before heading out, Forde makes one final move to grab a bottle of water he had poured himself earlier.

But before he can be off, Forde hears Kyle make a sound behind him.

Kyle was, at _last_ glance, appearing pretty engaged in whatever the hell is on his phone screen...

But not engaged _enough_ to keep him from holding out one arm to now request Forde's attention by snapping his fingers.

_"Hmm."_ Kyle signals, as the hand in question follows up with a new action. Kyle brings his fingers forward and back, as if to tell Forde to ' _Come here, first_.'

Ah, **right.** Thoroughly invested in whatever was on the screen of his phone or _not:_ **Kyle still expects his goodbye kiss.**

_As_ _always._

Forde startles; Turning his entire body back around to face Kyle. Forde gathers himself so he can follow Kyle's silent gesture and make his way over.

Now, inches away from where Kyle sits; One of his ankles crosses over his opposing knee as he lounges in a suede armchair. Forde quick leans down in order to rehearse their typical set of parting words: And the routine _act_ associated with it.

But before Forde gets the chance to wish a heartfelt _'farewell'_ accompanied by a mindful lock of their lips: Kyle drops his phone in his lap and reaches to pull Forde in by his tie.

_"Heh--?"_ Forde sounds in momentary confusion, as Kyle's hands reach for the closures on Forde's shirt.

_"Your buttons aren't straight_." Kyle bluntly announces, all the while he's focused on unfastening the misaligned plastic down the center.

"...Eh." Forde coughs, immediately choked up. This isn't what he's used to Kyle doing; Isn't what he was _expecting_. "Neither are _you."_

Kyle's hands suddenly stop. Paused at around the fourth button down from the top: In which he was making the effort to even out; _Kyle inhales deeply through his nose._

Heeding Forde's statement to mind: Kyle blinks, _stupefied._ Still thinking of a response; Kyle soon holds his eyes shut _completely_ for a handful of notable seconds-- As he next opens his mouth to at least _attempt_ to defend himself.

Still not exactly ready to reply, however; Kyle builds up his intake of air with a second sharp breath. _Kyle's eyes are still closed in considering embarrassment._

Eventually, as he's re-opening his eyes, Kyle lets out his sighs as he redirects his attention from Forde's shirt: Finally up to Forde's face.

" ** _You_** _don't get to tell me that."_ Kyle retaliates as he maintains stern eye contact. His firm grip on Forde's collar holds Forde down so that he's mere inches away from Kyle's tense glare.

Forde feels a laugh stir in the back of his throat: Begging for an escape; But Forde's able to suppress it for the time being.

"Oh _,_ **I** sure _do."_ Forde just smirks. "Can't say _my_ wardrobe isn't _'straight'._ Not as long as _you_ wear as many _'canvas-material **earth** tones'_ as you do. Not with the cuffs of your pants being folded-up stiffly _**three** -times_ **over.** Not with all that _gay_ little **jewelry."**

At this, Kyle does that _Kyle_ -thing where he pouts and angrily knits his eyebrows together.

...One.

...Two.

_...Three._

**...Fou--**

Kyle does his usual in trying to force himself to _not_ have this end in his own-sort of genuine abrupt laughter.

But Kyle couldn't even make it to _four_ seconds, this time around. Not all before his eyes shine a beautiful _happy_ -sort of light, and his poorly-kept smile has his cheeks dusted in purplish-red.

" _Get outta here_." Kyle tries, as he shakes his head; Beautifully graced with that very _exact_ apprehensive grin. 

Kyle's fingers make their way down to the bottom of Forde's shirt. Next, he untucks the fabric that was previously snug under Forde's waistband: So that he can finish in correcting the remainder of plastic buttons that were _recently_ positioned one-off from their respective eyelets.

After all are ready to go, Kyle once more tucks the hem back beneath Forde's belt. 

" _You're gonna be late_." Kyle informs. "There's only so much _skill_ and _engaging personality_ that can attract a buyer. Being _late,_ and looking _windswept_ just leaves a **poor impression."**

"..."

Forde notes the gingerly-soft touch of Kyle's fingertips through the texture of his semi-casual business attire.

"Al _though_... Your pre-existing **natural** beauty may play a role in masking how scrambled you truly _can_ be..." Kyle cocks his head as he starts to challenge what was his own first opinion. "So maybe _that's_ the reason you almost _always_ rope in anyone and _every_ one who has even a _fragment_ of interest in your work..."

"Why, _Thank_ you." Forde smiles crookedly. " ** _I try_**."

"Eeeh..." Kyle runs his tongue over his top lip as he looks back and forth between Forde's eyes. " _You don't really **need** to."_

Forde raises his eyebrows, suddenly skeptical.

"...Then why did you feel the need to _fix_ my shirt...?"

Kyle averts his gaze to the side and starts to mumble. "...I want to feel like I'm helping..." He admits this almost abashed.

Forde takes a minute to roll his eyes.

"You don't need to ' _feel'_ like you're of help to me, Kyle."

Forde leans close enough to kiss Kyle _'goodbye'_ now, **_finally._** Firstly on his cheekbone, and a follow-up on his lips. 

"..." 

Kyle takes a second to quietly breathe; Intake Forde's presence. _Unspoken thoughts hitched in his throat_. As he does, Kyle eventually presses his forehead into Forde's.

_**"...Get outta here**_ **."** Kyle repeats his earlier advice, while he lifts a hand to grab a hold of Forde's face and _push it away to the side._

"Hmmm _mhhhhh_." Forde groans at Kyle for ruining what was beginning to be an intense moment.

**"Enthralling,** _attractive_ physical features or **_not."_** Kyle reaches to pat Forde's chest with a palm: As if to urge him away. "You still can't use it as an excuse to _completely_ neglect professionalism."

**_"Ugh._** I didn't put my buttons on wrong on _purpose."_ Forde frowns. "It was an _accident._ I didn't even notice until you went out of your way to bring _attention_ to it..."

Still _sort_ -of trying to encourage Forde to get on his way; To make sure he makes it in enough time to meet his client he has scheduled in for today...

Kyle still has it in himself to make _one final_ motion to _savour_ this particular scene of **'adieu'...**

_Kyle's hand trails down to Forde's in order to give it an affectionate squeeze._

"Don't blame you." Kyle says. "There's so much _more_ going on with you-- Rather than an uneven buttoned-down. There's more that people should _want_ to fixate on and notice first... For example? Your smile... Your eyes... _Your **laugh..."**_

Kyle pauses as Forde finally starts stepping backward. Because in all honesty: _He really should have left by now._

Hand still in hand, Kyle extends his arm out for as far and as long as he can. Most apparent that he _**doesn't want** to let go of Forde's touch._

When one single step further would give them both no _choice_ but to drop the other's grip: Kyle finishes up his thoughts.

"But all-in-all? Try and make sure they notice your **productivity** _first_ and _foremost._ I know it's hard-- _As captivating as **you** are--_ To try and sell your _product..._ But, _don't forget."_

"I _knooow._ I know." Forde hums. " _I've been do_ _ing this for a whiiile..._ Before I ever even **_met_** you."

"..." 

"But," Forde starts. "I _still_ just put my shirt on wrong."

Kyle starts laughing under his breath in amusement, as _unfortunately:_ Forde backs away and they can no longer hold the other's fingers in between their own...

Not until later **_tonight,_** at least.

**Both their arms drop at their sides.**

"I'll see you later, then." Kyle's smile is full of anticipation. **"Bye.** _Love you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik no one but me cares abt route of the problem , but *i* DO... so:
> 
> in reference to forde mentioning kyles 'gay little jewelry..?' ok theres a lot to route of the problem that either hasnt made it into actual fic-text yet, or whatever...
> 
> but forde bought kyle a necklace once. i havent like, decided where and when yet. probably on their first valentines day bc its that time of the year rn and im thinking abt it... (maybe i'll write a rotp valentines fic idk it depends on if i can get my surgery in by then or not)
> 
> but i have a lot of un-spoken things that havent made it into fics yet. kyles necklace is one of them:
> 
> the pendant on this necklace in question is just a bronze compass. 
> 
> :)
> 
> also rotp kyle canonically has his ears pierced: IE gay Jewelry .


	4. Never Gets Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg me ur so cringe 🤣 what are u , kyle-kin or something?🤣 kyle-kin and gushing about the beauties of the world (forde)🤣?
> 
> yeah. . and thatsa ok. its a rotp fic. so its okay. Home of Personal Cringe :•D

* * *

"Good morning..." Kyle mumbles into Forde's ear; Having naturally risen with the soothing warmth of dawn.

"...Good morning." Forde replies in an almost still half-asleep response.

Kyle finds himself sighing peacefully... With his intake of air comes the distinct scent of coconut lingering on Forde's skin...

_Ah..._ How did Kyle ever get so lucky to where he gets to _everyday,_ from the start of his first conscious breath: Bathe in the intimacy of such a profound and emotionally-moving setting?

How lively, it all is... Deeply stimulating to one's soul _._ _Kyle is ravished by fidelity_ ; **Continual.** Even the fleeting _fraction_ of this moment, in which Kyle is awakening after a full rest, _d_ _a_ _y-after-day--_ Bodes such a dear feeling...

_It never gets old_.

And what a pleasant ritual it serves to indicate just how gratifying the day ahead of Kyle will be...

**_Always._ **

"Hmm..." Kyle continues his satisfied and restful humming. "...I love you."

\--And routinely, Kyle repeats the usual of his affectionate _morning_ expressions to Forde... Which, for the record, _also_ never get old.

"Haaah... _I looove **yooouu**_ **."** Forde whispers himself; Sleepily positioning his head upwards: Providing himself the ease in motion to nuzzle his nose into Kyle's neck.

_Kyle can feel Forde's sweetly-subtle smile, as it brushes faintly over the part of Kyle's jaw directly beneath his ear._

"Mmm... _What are you...?"_ Kyle begins; Hardly even _**thinking** _in an all-too- _mindless_ air. Yet, musing over how... For the one being the painter here? Forde can't even be creative enough to use a different _**word** choice!?_

Nothing any more _colorful_ crosses Forde's mind to indulge in; Other than the **stolen** phrases that Kyle had _just_ used to start off their day? "...A **_parrot?"_**

Forde pauses... _Considering Kyle's frivolous mockery..._

"What are you?" ...Forde ultimately decides to...?

**"--A parrot?"** _Repeat Kyle's words verbatim **yet again.**_

Kyle groans in a fabricated bluff of annoyance. Acting like that response _**wasn't** obvious, _and as if he _**hadn't** see it coming for **miles.**_

Tauntingly, Kyle bends his arm up without exerting any true effort; So that he can shove the whole of his palm over Forde's face _and pretend to force it away._

**"I'm gay."** Kyle confesses as proudly as his groggy morning-voice allows. 

_Let's see if this works..._

Beneath Kyle's hand: **Forde snorts breathlessly.**

...Eventually, after his laughing reaches its end... Forde drops a muffled _"I'm gay"_ in his own personal respect.

Kyle blinks in articulate thought.

"...Kyle's the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world and Forde is only second best...?" **Kyle presses his luck...**

_"Kyle's the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world and Forde is only second best_." Sure enough: Forde repeats Kyle's _bullshit_ word for word. _And_ with a delivery full of sincere conviction.

"Pfft..." Kyle holds in the urge to laugh. "Alright... _Enough._ That one was uncalled for. **And also not true.** _You never should have repeated it."_

Kyle removes his hand to gently run it down to Forde's arm: Tracing nondescript shapes into the accentuated physique of Forde's muscles. _A secure familiarity underneath the tips of Kyle's fingers._

"Ehhh--?" Forde cocks his head on the pillow and looks at Kyle with **_so_** much softness in his eyes... "Of _coouurse_ it's true!"

Kyle's free arm reaches behind his shoulder; Propping himself up with his elbow.

And from a higher vantage point? From this greater frame of view...?

The flow of Forde's hair is completely engulfed in the blinding flares of daybreak: **_Golden._**

As Kyle had repositioned himself...? The silken yellow itself looks as if it could be spun precisely _from_ the shine of angelic beams of light; In the exact, ethereal moment that they emanate through fluffed clouds.

_T_ _his radiant lure of a halo rustles to spill over Forde's shoulders at the expense of Kyle's stirring._ Waves of blond satin pour around Forde's figure: Emphasizing his defined bone structure-- As it plays a role to underline the velvet-rose of Forde's delicate and flushed skin...

In this instance: Kyle's breath is choked by the beating of his own heart.

**Woah.**

That's...

_...Stunning._

Kyle's at a momentary **loss for words...**

Because... This scene before him should be evidence enough. No matter _what_ Forde has to say--

_'Kyle's the bestest'_ is absolutely **_NOT_** true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kyle is a himbo. thats all i have to say. 
> 
> even in canon. after war? still would be a himbo.


	5. Little Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bored. might fuck around and ignore my severe post-surgical pain and post a handful of the mostly-finished shit WIPS i had started b4 surgery.
> 
> bored and mostly incapable of standing all damn day. i got nothing better to do.

* * *

Kyle's eyes suddenly widen at the sight before him.

Are those... What Kyle thinks they are...?

Without a thought, Kyle snatches Forde's hand in his own to get a better look.

"He-Hey!" Forde squeals in shock as response. "What are you _doing!?"_

Kyle doesn't use words to reply. Instead, he examines the span of Forde's skin that extends from beneath his thumbnail and down to his wrist. 

Yes. Sure enough...

_Forde has tiny little freckles._

And 'tiny' can't _begin_ to describe the level of subtle they are; Because they are practically _microscopic._

Almost non-existent in circumference... Nearly as pale and light as Forde's own complexion.

In fact, there's hardly any change in hue at _all._

No normal person would be able to so easily observe them...

Hell, Forde himself probably hasn't ever even realized their charming presence.

...Maybe Kyle's even the first person who's _**ever**_ noticed. The first to... have his life centered _enough **around**_ Forde's near- _hidden_ features to get the chance to take awe _to_ them.

While considering that this is likely the truth; Kyle is hit with a wave of love-induced adrenaline, because--

That almost feels _unreal._ Like, that reality of Kyle's is **_incredible._**

Ahh, that's such an exciting thing to think about. That in itself may be Kyle's favorite part about being with Forde, actually. The whole thing where as long as people live and change on a day to day basis? There will _always_ be new things for them both to learn about each other. Some of which can't even be discovered in _any_ given lifetime.

Like the first time Kyle realized Forde's right dimple caves in more than his left whenever he smiles...?

In the moment, Kyle was holding Forde's face gently in his hand... _Running his thumb over the soft touch of his cheek..._

And then Forde had laughed. **So full of love** , it was. A most _dear_ breath of air from the most _dear_ individual--

_And then his dimples showed themselves._

And _then_ Kyle could feel the growing depression underneath where he was practicing this tender caress... Yet, it somehow didn't feel like it would match up with the shallowness on the opposite side...

So, Kyle raised his other hand, in order to hold the other side of Forde's face respectively...

_And Kyle was correct_. The right side sinks in _much_ deeper than the left.

In the moment: Forde raised his eyebrows in confusion, sounding a hushed little, _alarmed_ **'Eh--!?'**

And so, Kyle played it off as if he were just motioning to pull Forde in to kiss him. After that, Forde easily stopped being confused, and made the joint effort to kiss Kyle back: _And Kyle never mentioned what he had **truly** found **ever again.**_

...Oooor... When Forde's really focused on something? Like, his _whole entire_ concentration is engaged? And _Planet Earth_ could have exploded, but Forde's so practically _out of it_ he probably wouldn't realize it until a week later...?

A week later... In an article Forde himself would have to publish _subconsiously:_ During the peak of his fixations? Because... _The world's obsolete._ No one else would be around to write it.

But Kyle's found something in these times, too: The way Forde inhales, _and quick puffs his bangs out of his eyes._ Like, both his hands are full so he won't brush it behind his ear, or pull it back with the rest. _For if he did_ , he would probably matt his hair in paint, or tangle it in whatever the hell flavored can of _greasy Pringles_ he shoves one after another into his mouth...

Damn it, **The action is adorable**. It doesn't even register into Forde's brain that he's doing it. But close-by, Kyle can _surely_ hear the rythmic sounding exhales of Forde's sighs...

_And what a beautiful sound that is._

If Kyle _wanted_ to be considerate enough; He could silently go take one or two of the hair pins that Forde leaves in a jar on the bathroom sink. He could come back to where Forde's intensively occupied... And without a word, could tuck these troublesome strands back so that Forde could work in _peace..._

But Kyle can never bring himself to do this. _Selfish,_ **he knows.** But this faint sign of life from Forde's occasionally _forced_ respiration fills Kyle with a **different** sort of light.

Or, _or,_ **_ooor!_** When Forde's sat himself in Kyle's lap, or pushes his backside into Kyle's chest in the middle of the night...

And Kyle's hand does its part in absentmindedly roaming until it's soon beneath the hem of Forde's shirt. (If he's in the moment _wearing_ one, **that is.)** And with Kyle's most- _heightened_ sense in the dark of familiar night being that of touch: Kyle suddenly finds just how _soft_ and _fair_ the pale bit of hair growing from Forde's stomach-- _Down into the more **intimate** setting of his waist--_ Really _is._

And these cute little _freckles_ just add _more_ to the ongoing list of ' _Things Kyle's Discovered About Forde But Keeps To Himself.'_

Coming back to reality, Kyle shakes his head.

"A-Are you okay!?" Forde whines, as his hand held in Kyle's grows tense in distress.

_"Eh--?"_ Kyle blinks. And when he does-- _Over and over--_ These little sun-spots peppered over Forde's skin are _right where they were_ before Kyle had shut his eyes.

Yep. _Just another mundane thing about Forde_. "Uh-- Yeah! _**Yeah.**_ I'm fine... I just want to h-h-... _Hold your hand."_ Kyle scrambles.

Forde tilts his head. And eventually, Kyle feels as Forde's hand relaxes in order to relocate it's positioning, So that he can urge Kyle's fingers apart and knit them together with his own.

"Yeah, well... You don't need to do it so **aggressively!"** Forde grins, perplexed. "I'm right here, Kyle! _I'm not going anywhere."_

**"...Right."** And, _neither are his little freckles..._ Kyle keeps his new-found knowledge to himself. " _Sorry for scaring you."_

Wow. Maybe the prevalent _artistic-nature_ of Forde's to romanticize everything and anything is rubbing off on Kyle...

Or, maybe... Kyle just has an exceptionally more prevalent _amount_ of **romantic love** for _Forde_ and _Forde **alone.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: "im im severe post-operative pain still i cant write too often"
> 
> also me: post two days in a row why not
> 
> my McCleery Syndrome may own me But my MacKylie Syndrome owns me harder :) 😌

**Author's Note:**

> fav thing abt my rotp rambles is they dont necessarily always need to be rotp. like they could sometimes stand alone.
> 
> but idc bc i only care abt making myself happy so i love putting them under the rotp title to push everyone away from them. rotp is private property. violaters will be towed


End file.
